


New Rules

by xxDustNight88



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Adult Content, Best Friends, Crack, Drinking, Explicit Language, F/M, Heartbreak, Infidelity, Male Bashing, Mildly Dubious Consent, Moving On, Post-Break Up, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-16
Updated: 2018-06-13
Packaged: 2018-12-30 15:24:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12111645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxDustNight88/pseuds/xxDustNight88
Summary: When Hermione, Ginny, and Pansy find themselves newly single around the same time, they have to find a way to stay strong and not fall for the temptation their exes provide. Typical Girl Power/BFF Break-Up Crack Fic. Humor. Smut. Fun and Laughs. Four part story based on the song New Rules by Dua Lipa.





	1. Prologue: The Breakups

**Author's Note:**

> I’m meant to be working on a million other projects, but I heard the song the title of this story comes from and that was it. I tried to pawn the song off on my lovely roomie, starrnobella, but she didn’t take the bait. That left it to me… One thing led to another and BOOM! This story emerged. Originally, I planned on finishing the story and then uploading as complete, but I owe you, my dedicated and lovely readers, something new! Here it is! This is for you. 
> 
> This is a different sort of story than I normally write. It’s not a love story. It’s allllll about the girl power and what females have to endure after breaking up with their significant others. Our three lovely witches band together in order to get over their heartbreak and come out all the better because of it. It’s full of crass language and sexual innuendos and references. It’s meant to be a fun, male bashing sort of fic that makes you laugh and sympathize with Hermione, Pansy, and Ginny as they muddle their way through the aftermath of their relationships. Be forewarned, Draco, Ron, and Harry are made out to be horrible gits in this story.
> 
> My goal is to write one chapter ahead of posting, which means that, yes, the next part of this story is complete. I will post Part One once Part Two is finished, but for now you get to enjoy the ever so dramatic Prologue! I’m really loving this fic and I hope you do too. I can’t wait to see your reactions to it. Huge thanks to GaeilgeRua for alpha beta reading. xxDustNight
> 
> Disclaimer: All non-original characters, plot points, and information belongs to those at Warner Brothers or J.K. Rowling. The title, “New Rules” comes from the song of the same title by Dua Lipa. The story plot and dialogue belongs to me. I do not write for profit.
> 
> Song Recommendations: “Better” by Meghan Trainor and Yo Gotti, “Don’t Leave” by Snake Hips and MO, “Break a Little” by kirstin, “What About Us” by P!nk, “Big Girls Cry” by Sia, “Learn to Let Go” by Kesha, “Tired of Talking” by LEON, “Only You” by Zara Larsson, and “Titanium” by DAvid Guetta ft. Sia
> 
>  
> 
> [Listen to the New Rules playlist here!](https://open.spotify.com/user/1246401351/playlist/1oG6Qgo677WlNrAjbU6PUt)

** _Prologue: The Breakups_ **

_Ginny_

Exhausted, back aching, and famished, Ginny Weasley stumbled through the floo to the flat she shared with Harry Potter without taking in her surroundings. She had only one thought in mind—get in the shower and then eat the leftover Chinese take-away in the refrigerator. Quidditch practice was brutal today, and she couldn't wait to simply relax and put her feet up for the next two days.

Sighing as she thought about how nice it would be to sleep in past six in the morning, Ginny still didn't notice anything off about the flat. Instead, she shrugged out of her Quidditch robes and hung them on the coatrack before unlacing her boots and shoving them into the closet by the front door. Her broom followed suit, safely tucked away until practice again Monday morning. The off-season practice schedule was a lot more manageable than when they had games every other day.

Finally ready for that shower she'd been craving, Ginny made her way through the flat while pulling the elastic band from her hair. Red locks fell around her shoulders in waves, and she raked her fingernails over her scalp in anticipation of what she was about to do to it in the shower. Opening the door to the bathroom, she frowned, finally realizing Harry hadn't greeted her upon her arrival.

Normally on a Friday evening, Harry could be found crumpled on the sofa in a heap of exhaustion of his own. Being an Auror wasn't the easiest of jobs, especially when you were still considered a rookie. Turning before she even entered the bathroom, Ginny paused and listened to the flat. All seemed quiet. Odd, she thought to herself as she placed both hands on her hips, a confused frown taking over her pretty face.

"Harry?" She called out rather obnoxiously. "You home?"

When there was no reply, Ginny felt herself deflate. Where was Harry? She checked the upstairs bedroom first, thinking that he might have come home and crashed in bed instead of on the couch like normal. When she found the bedroom seemingly untouched, she started to back out of the room but stopped. Something was off, she now realized, and it was the simple fact that there were only two pillows on the bed instead of the normal four.

That's when she also noticed the closet door slightly ajar and an empty duffle sitting by the dresser. Padding over to investigate, she was surprised to find that the closet was devoid of all Harry's clothing. Upon further inspection, she threw open all his drawers in the dresser to find those empty as well. Standing in the middle of the room, she felt her stomach drop and her heart begin to seize up.

"What the…?" She questioned herself before dashing from the room and downstairs toward the living room. Standing there, in the middle of the room with her breath rushing in and out of her chest, Ginny glanced around the cluttered room. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, at least not at first.

As if a beacon of light were shining upon it, she finally noticed the meager scrap of parchment tacked onto the mantle. Of course she'd not noticed it when she'd arrived—who would think to check the mantle for a note when they'd just stumbled through it? With shaking hands, Ginny reached forward and snagged the paper, ripping it at the corner. She held her breath as she unfolded the note, thinking that it almost looked as if it was a second thought. Bracing herself, Ginny began to read…

_Ginny,_

_I love you, I swear that I do, but some things are just not meant to be. It's nothing that you did—I promise. It's me. I need some space… Some time to just be me. I've never really had that, you know? I hope you can understand. I'm so sorry._

_Harry_

Glaring at the tattered piece of parchment, Ginny could only blink in annoyance. Finally, in an irrational fit of anger, she closed her palm, effectively crumpling the parchment. Throwing her head back in exasperation, she closed her eyes and spoke to no one in particular.

"You have  _got_  to be kidding me? Not  _this_  fucking shit again."

Opening her eyes, Ginny huffed and then tossed the paper somewhere, not entirely caring where it ended up. Swallowing back angry tears because, damn it, she was  _not_  going to cry (this time), Ginny stormed from the room in the direction of their bedroom. Scratch that.  _Her_  bedroom. She wasn't going to sit around and do nothing but sulk because her boyfriend of five years had commitment issues that were more than ridiculous at this point.

Undressing quickly in her fit of frustration, Ginny redressed for a night on the town. She threw on her tightest Muggle jeans and a sparkly silver top accompanied by knee-high boots. As she headed for the bathroom once more, she  _accio-ed_  the cordless phone and called her best friend by hitting the speed dial. Smirking at her reflection in the mirror, she waited for Hermione to answer.

"Hello?"

"Hey, 'Mione, it's Gin."

"Hey!" Hermione honestly sounded thrilled to hear from her. "What's up? I thought you and Harry would probably be enjoying a movie and cuddle time by now."

"About that—"

"Oh no. What happened now?

Using her shoulder to cradle the phone, Ginny began applying mascara before deadpanning, "Harry's gone. Broken up with me by leaving a fucking note this time. I'm done," she gushed, tossing aside her mascara and reaching for her favorite red lipstick. " _Done_ , Hermione _._ Get dressed. We're going out. Tell Malfoy his dick can get sucked after you get home from helping your best mate get sloshed to forget that the Twat Who Lived ever even existed."

"Hah!" Hermione laughed before repeating what Ginny said to Draco, who she was currently dating. "Okay, okay. Draco wants to know what you ever saw in Harry and has given me permission to enjoy myself as long as I come home sloshed as well. You know how he likes it when—"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Ginny cut her off, cringing at her reflection as she thought about all the kinky shit Hermione and Draco liked to get into. She was into some freaky stuff herself, but she and Harry never went  _that_  far. Shaking herself, she cleared her head of such thoughts and smiled at her reflection, enjoying what she saw. "Save it for later, Hermione. I'll see you at the usual meeting spot in half an hour. Oh, and don't forget to call Pansy! That bitch is coming with us."

With that said, Ginny turned off the phone and set it aside on the bathroom counter. With one last fluff of her hair, she exited the loo and headed to the floo. Harry Potter may have been the love of her life, but she wasn't going to be like normal girls, sitting home on a Friday night crying and eating ice cream because she got dumped. No, not Ginny Weasley. This wasn't even the first or second time Harry pulled this shit, but it would definitely be the last.

Making sure she had everything she would need for a night out, including Muggle  _and_  Wizard money, extra lipstick, and her wand, Ginny opened the front door and headed outside into the early evening. This part of London was bustling, a threshold of opportunities for a young single woman such as herself. Tonight, with her two best friends, she was going to forget her heartache and enjoy herself, entirely letting go. If someone asked her about her boyfriend, the great Harry Potter, all she would have to say to them is, "Who?"

* * *

 

_Hermione_

Ridiculous. That's what this was, but she couldn't seem to stop the angry words that kept falling from her mouth like verbal diarrhea. Merlin,  _why_ couldn't he not be an arse for just once in his life? Elves had rights too! Why were they even fighting about the rights of house elves again?

Oh, right.

Draco bloody Malfoy wanted to relocate three of the house elves from his family's manor to their new townhouse so that they wouldn't have to  _worry_  about taking care of everything. Lazy, privileged git.  _That_  was why they were fighting. Hermione didn't want house elves under her roof, let alone ones that would not take compensation in any form whatsoever. So she'd lost it, spewing forth all sorts of facts and reasons as to why Draco's house elves would not be welcome anywhere near this townhouse as long as she lived here.

"One, Granger! I'll drop it from three to one," Draco tried bartering with her as he followed behind her as she stomped through their new home like a three year old. "You're being unreasonable here."

"First," she partially screamed, turning around to point a finger in his face. "What is  _unreasonable_ , is the fact that you can't seem to see how unethical it is owning house elves when we are perfectly capable of taking care of ourselves. We've been doing it since we moved in together two years ago, and second," she paused, taking a deep breath before carrying on, "I'm back to  _Granger_  all of a sudden? All because of a stupid fight about house elves?"

"No," Draco sighed heavily, scrubbing his face with one hand. "You're Granger because you just called me Malfoy and it's what we do. We forget we love each other and revert to our old habits."

"I didn't call you Malfoy," she replied, bristling, denying the accusation. She wracked her brain, trying to figure out when she'd used his surname. She knew it bothered him, even if it only ever happened when they were fighting. "I honestly don't even remember saying it, Draco. I'm sorry."

Suddenly feeling rather worn out, Hermione collapsed onto the edge of their bed, not even remembering entering the bedroom. She worried her bottom lip as Draco continued to frown at her from the doorway.

"I don't know if I can do this anymore, Hermione."

She merely blinked at him in reply, feeling a chill wash over her skin as she tried to comprehend the meaning of his words. Was he—was he saying what she thought he was? As she continued to sit there gaping up at him, Draco pushed away from the doorframe and moved to stand in front of where she was sitting. His grey eyes looked sad, like they had foreseen this conversation playing out and already knew the outcome. It was ridiculous to think such things, but here she was.

Finding her voice, Hermione asked, "What do you mean, Draco?" Her hands gripped the edge of the bed, knuckles white from the pressure she was exerting. She wasn't ready for this to happen. Not now. Maybe, not ever.

"You know what I mean, Hermione. This," he explained, waving his hand between the two of them. "I can't keep fighting with you nearly every day and expect to be happy. Fuck, you have to feel it too; we're not happy anymore. It's not working."

"You don't mean that," she started to say, but he interrupted her with an exasperated huff.

" _Merlin_ , Granger—We spend more hours of the day fighting than talking like normal people these days. I don't even remember the last time we went an entire day without arguing about one thing or another." Pausing, Draco ran a hand through his blond hair, pushing it away from his face. "It's like we're twelve and thirteen years old again, fighting simply for the sake of fighting."

"Draco… I had no idea you felt like this," she replied, honestly. Inside, her heart was breaking knowing that she'd somehow failed this relationship. Maybe it wasn't too late to fix… She just had to find the right words to say to repair the damage. "I—I'm sorry. I can be better, I know I can. Work has been busy and stressful. You know how I'm trying to break into the MLE…"

He was shaking his head at her now, making her babbling stop mid sentence.  _Why_  was he shaking his head at her? And doing that sad pout that usually turned her on when he used it the right way. It wasn't a come-0n this time, though. This time he was pouting as he backed away, his head telling her no even before he opened his mouth to confirm her suspicions.

"It's not just you that needs to be better. I failed us too, and to be honest, I don't think there's anything left for us to do." Draco swallowed heavily, audibly, and Hermione waited for him to break her heart. "I think it's time we went our separate ways, Granger. It's time to stop trying to force something that's not there."

Hermione's eyes slid shut slowly, her heart shattering into a million tiny pieces. Oh and if that wasn't the worst cliché in the entire universe, but it was true. Hermione Granger didn't fail, but she'd failed at making her relationship with Draco Malfoy work. As tears threatened to fall from her eyes, she had to try at least one more time before accepting what Draco had said.

"Are you sure? We can get counseling…"

"Granger," Draco spoke softly, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder and causing her eyes to flutter open. "I'm sure… It's done. We're done, all right?" His words were spoken in a soothing manner as if he was trying to placate a child who'd broken their favorite toy. Only it wasn't a toy, it was her heart. And it hurt. A lot.

"Okay…" She sniffed, ignoring the burning in her eyes as Draco removed his hand from her shoulder and stepped back. An uncomfortable silence settled around them, and Hermione glanced around their bedroom, wondering how everything had gone so terribly wrong.

They'd just moved in not three months prior, having finally decided to upgrade from the drafty flat they'd shared in Diagon Alley for the first year and a half of their relationship. Now it all seemed too lavish, too bright. Hermione yearned for simpler times, when the sink leaked and the two of them spent their weekends curled up in bed naked and reading books. Not a care in the world. No fighting, just loving.

With a start, Hermione realized that Draco was saying something to her, his hand picking at imaginary lint on his clothes like he always did when nervous about something.

"What did you say?" She questioned, shaking her head of her prior thoughts and refocusing on Draco. She'd managed to lose herself there for a moment, remembering a past long gone at this point.

"I was wondering if you didn't mind leaving tonight…"

"I—Uh…"

"It's just that I can't go back to the Manor and I know you won't be able to afford this place on your current salary alone…" Draco managed to appear a bit sheepish as he told her this outright, and it took  _everything_  she had not to punch him right in his pointed, Pureblood face. "You have someplace you can go, right?"

Hermione opened and closed her mouth multiple times before jumping to her feet in a huff. She said nothing as she brushed past her now  _ex_ -boyfriend and straight into her expansive closet. When she emerged twenty minutes later with two magically stuffed duffel bags and tearstained cheeks, Draco was nowhere to be found. In fact, he appeared to have gone out entirely, leaving her no option but to move out without saying goodbye or getting closure.

Breakups… They were the fucking worst.

Later, after debating where exactly she could go, Hermione found herself on the doorstep of her best girlfriend's flat. Dropping one duffle down at her feet, she hesitantly knocked on the door. While she waited for an answer, Hermione nibbled on her bottom lip and wondered if maybe she should have called first. After all, Ginny was recently single herself, and she might not take kindly to having her privacy interrupted.

There was no time to change her mind, Hermione realized, as footsteps sounded on the other side of the door and it was suddenly thrown open. Ginny was revealed, her hair thrown up into a messy bun that was secured with her wand. She was also wearing a simple black camisole and a pair of ridiculously short pajama shorts. Clearly, the witch was preparing for bed or already had been there and Hermione was interrupting.

"Hermione?" The redhead asked, her face scrunched up in confusion at seeing her best friend at so late at night. "What are you doing here?"

Taking a deep breath, Hermione had every intention of calmly explaining what transpired not an hour prior. However, when she opened her mouth all that came out was a garbled sob and then she was practically throwing herself into Ginny's arms. The sobbing started then, and Hermione didn't even feel the least bit embarrassed about her emotional display.

"Draco he— We were fighting and then he decided we should break up," she blubbered as she relinquished her grip on Ginny so she could ease back to look her in the face. "Then he told me I needed to leave and you're the only one I knew I could come to…"

She gave Ginny her most pitiful look, which wasn't that difficult given the circumstances. It only took a second for the information to register with Ginny and then she was frowning; but it was clearly directed towards Draco's actions and not the fact that Hermione was standing at her door a tearful mess.

"That wanker…" Ginny mumbled, rubbing soothing circles on Hermione's back. "Come right in. You're welcome to stay here for as long as you need, okay?" She guided Hermione inside before bending to pick up the discarded duffle.

"Thanks, Gin. I don't know what I'm going to do," Hermione admitted as she set her other bag by the sofa to run both hands through her tangled curls. "We had an entire life planned and—"

"Don't do that to yourself tonight, 'Mione." Attempting to smile, Ginny grabbed hold of Hermione's hand and guided her to sit at the sofa. She then plucked the wand from her hair, causing her hair to cascade around her shoulders. She used the wand to summon two cartons of ice cream and spoons from the kitchen before joining her friend.

"Thank you," Hermione said sincerely through her tears as she accepted the cliché breakup snack. "I knew you would understand what I was going through."

"Of course," Ginny smirked, a sneaky grin taking over her entire face as she popped the top on her ice cream and dug in. "And tomorrow we start planning our  _revenge_."

Hermione knew it was a joke, or at least she hoped it was, but it made her feel better nonetheless. Tonight she would cry a bit and stuff her face with rocky road ice cream, and tomorrow she would try and imagine a life without Draco. A life on her own… It was going to take a hell of a lot of soul searching to get over Draco  _bloody_  Malfoy, but, somehow, Hermione would manage.

* * *

 

_Pansy_

Tapping her long, painted fingernails on the hard surface of the kitchen table, Pansy Parkinson wondered if maybe it wasn't time to change to color. Her eyes slid away from the article in  _Witch Weekly_  that she'd been reading to examine her black polished nails. Perhaps she would go tomorrow and get them done at the salon in Diagon Alley. Purple seemed like a good choice. She loved that color. Satisfied with her decision, Pansy returned her attention to the article on Fall Colors.

Half an hour later, she glanced up to check the time on the wall clock. The sleek, silver appliance ticked away, showing that it was well after nine. Frowning, she began to wonder where the hell Ron was. He'd gone out to have a pint or two with his mates like he typically did on a Tuesday night, but, usually, he was home by eight and ready to take her to bed. Sighing in irritation, Pansy shoved aside her magazine and stood from the table, intent on finding out where her man was so late at night. A quick call to the Muggle pub he and Harry frequented would easily solve this problem.

In a way only a well-raised Pureblood could manage, Pansy elegantly stalked to the kitchen phone in her emerald green negligée. Hopping up onto the counter, she pulled the phone out of its charging cradle and was just about to dial the number she now had memorized when the front door slammed shut. With a roll of her eyes, she returned the phone to its place before sliding from the counter and hurrying into the front hall.

She and Ron lived in Notting Hill, one of the nicer parts of London, in an upscale townhome. In fact, Draco lived just a few blocks away, but that was a different story. Coming to a stop at the end of the hall, Pansy watched as Ron hung up his jacket by the door before turning around. He startled upon finding her waiting for him which Pansy found odd. He gave her a sort of awkward wave before coming making his way toward her. Dropping his head, he pecked her on the cheek before passing by to head for the kitchen.

"Ron?" She called, following after him, entirely confused by his lack of affection. Normally, he'd have kissed her full on the mouth and then taken her right to the bedroom. She didn't wear fancy lingerie on a Tuesday night for no bloody reason! "Ron, is everything alright?"

"What?" He replied, obviously distracted as he opened the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of lager. "Oh—yeah. Sure. Everything's fine."

Clearly, it wasn't.

She watched him silently as he used the edge of the counter to pop the top off the bottle before bringing it to his lips. He didn't meet her eyes as he began to chug the beverage. Irritated, Pansy padded over to the kitchen island and placed both hands flat on the surface as she continued to observe her boyfriend. Something was clearly bothering him and she had every intention of getting to the bottom of it right this instant.

"Look, you were fine when you went out earlier," she began, testing the waters, "but something clearly changed in the past five hours. Either you tell me what's bothering you or I'm just going to bed. You know I have to be up early tomorrow for that wedding fitting." Pansy crossed her arms then, resting her elbows on the counter as she waited for Ron to reply.

Being a fashion designer, the best in the Wizarding London in her opinion, Pansy often had respectable and wealthy clients request early morning fittings to beat the more "common" crowd. Tomorrow was one of those occasions, and Pansy needed to get to bed within the next hour or so if she wanted to be any semblance of awake when her alarm went off at five in the morning. Quirking an eyebrow at Ron, she watched as he fidgeted, setting aside his nearly empty bottle.

"Harry just made some good points tonight, that's all. He said some things I never really thought about when it comes to relationships…" Ron trailed off, his cheeks coloring ever so slightly as if embarrassed.

Taking a slow, deliberate breath, Pansy forced herself to remain calm. Harry  _fucking_ Potter had no right giving out relationship advice when he couldn't even properly commit himself. Barely two months single didn't give him the sudden wisdom of understanding relationships. What a sodding idiot… She had to get to the bottom of this before things took a turn for the worse.

Pursing her lips, she also thought about the fact that Draco recently broke up with Hermione too.  _Fuck_. Was this some sort of twisted epidemic? Their men suddenly getting cold feet or  _ideas_  about what they were missing in their lives? If that was the case, Pansy was starting to wonder where Ron might be tempted to go with this conversation. She had an uncomfortable suspicion that it wasn't going to end well.

Damn it.

"Enlighten me, Ron," Pansy prompted him, her face displaying a mixture of curiosity and disdain. "What did the great  _Harry Potter_  have to say that would cause you to keep me waiting up late and drive you to the bottle?" She gestured to the beer he was about to finish, and smiled to herself when he set it aside again.

"It's nothing. Let's go to bed," Ron tried to avoid the conversation, starting to move toward the door again.

Pansy was tired of this game, though. She was sleepy, irritated, and obviously not getting any sex tonight, so she wanted answers. Grabbing for his arm, she forced him to stop and face her. "No way. You're going to talk to me—none of this just sleep it off and hope she forgets it nonsense. I'm not falling for that this time."

Ron flinched at her words, knowing he was caught. Pansy released her hold and pointed to the table. Taking the hint, Ron pulled out the chair and sat down, his face paling as he did so. That was not a good sign; nevertheless, Pansy joined him, tucking her short, dark hair behind both ears. They sat there in silence for a few minutes, both obviously afraid of opening this jar of flobberworms. In the end, Ron decided to break the silence and tell her what was bothering him.

"Harry was telling me about how he enjoys living on his own and not having to worry about anyone but himself." Glancing up from his hands, which were knotted in his lap, he found his girlfriend glaring at him. Immediately upon seeing her expression, he dropped his gaze again. "I know that you and I are…happy…but what if there's more out there, you know?"

"Seriously? What the  _hell_ do you mean by that!?" Pansy knew this was going to be a conversation for the books, but she'd  _never_  expected  _that!_

"Yeah," Ron muttered, meeting her affronted expression. "I figured you'd take it this way."

"You're insinuating that you want to go off and see other women, Ron! How else do you expect me to react?" She screeched, hating how affected she was by just a simple sentence. It hurt, but she wasn't about to let him know that. "Did you think I was going to be  _understanding?_ "

Well, no, but I thought we could at least discuss it a bit. Malfoy said once you get past the loneliness—"

" _Draco_ was part of this drunken epiphany!?" Now she was fuming, so she pushed back from the table and stood to tower over her boyfriend. "I'm sure that privileged git had oodles of knowledge to bestow upon you after breaking up with  _your_  best friend and basically kicking her to the curb  _in the middle of the night_!"

Pansy may not have always been friends with Hermione, but she'd grown to adore the bushy-haired know-it-all since she'd started dating Ron. It was kind of hard not to. Hermione was just so personable and fun to be around. She was smart but still had a personality aside from her bookishness. Not to mention she was a literal hoot when drunk. When she'd found out how Draco broke up with her, she sympathized. She, Ginny, and the brunette had spent an entire weekend cooped up in Ginny's flat bitching about boys and binging on biscuits and tea. That was about three weeks ago now, but she was still fuming over the entire situation. In fact, she'd not spoken to Draco since, having decided the idiot needed to apologize to Hermione before she'd ever speak to him again.

"Well, Harry seemed to agree with him."

Pinching the bridge of her nose, Pansy closed her eyes and tried to count to ten in her head like her anger management Healer suggested she do in situations such as this. If she didn't get herself together, she was liable to lose it entirely. Sighing, she dropped her hand and merely stared at Ron before pointing out yet another fun fact.

"You're taking advice from Harry…the one who dumped Ginny by leaving her a note. Harry, who couldn't even be arsed to talk  _to_   _your sister_ to her face before deciding he wasn't ready to commit long-term for the, what was it, fifth time?" Taking a breath, Pansy waited for Ron to reply, knowing he wasn't grasping the point of her rant just by looking at the vacant expression in his eyes.

"I know it's not an ideal situation, Pans, but I think if you take a minute to think about this," he spread his hands out in front of his as if the answer were there in front of them, "you'll see it's for the best."

Slapping a palm down on the table as her anger broke free, Pansy seethed, "What's for the best, Ron? And I swear if you say one more thing about Harry and Draco's opinions on  _our_  relationship, I am going to lose it." She was breathing heavily, her chest rising and falling rapidly as she glared daggers at Ron. This was infuriating, not at all the evening she'd had planned.

As if sensing she was about to hex the shit out of him, Ron sat and thought about what he planned to say next. Pansy felt that was wise, and allowed him the respite while she, too, tried to calm her ire. She loved Ron, dearly, and it wouldn't be wise to throw all that away for some idiotic banter between three drunken wizards. Ron  _had_  to be smarter than that, didn't he?  _Didn't he?_ He wouldn't throw away a four year relationship for the sake of being  _single_  again? Right?  _Right?_

Fuck.

"Pansy, I'm in love with you, but I've been thinking about this all evening. I think it would be best for the both of us if I just… What I'm trying to say is… I think I want to…" Ron floundered, not quite getting the words he wanted to say out of his mouth.

Pansy knew Ron wasn't the best at relationships, or words in general, but she'd hoped he had more sense than to succumb to the peer pressure of two idiotic fools who clearly didn't know love if it was smacking them in the face with a Blast-Ended Skrewt! Deciding to end this on her terms more for the sake of her sanity than Ron's, she held up her hand, effectively cutting off whatever the next half-assed breakup line Ron was trying to spit out of his oh so kissable mouth.

Fuck. This was going to hurt.

" _Get_.  _Out_."

Okay, not what she'd thought she would say, but it worked. Pointing at the door, she narrowed her eyes at her now  _ex_ -boyfriend. His mouth dropped open and his eyes went wide with surprise, but he did manage to stumble to his feet. When he made to move towards her, for one reason or another, she backed away, not wanting him anywhere near her right now. Where was a Blast-Ended Skrewt when you needed one?

"Don't," she threatened, shaking her head as she dropped her hand and placed both hands on her hips. Ron stopped where he was and just gaped at her as he waited for her to continue. "Just get whatever you need for the night and get the hell out of my house. We're done. If you want to be single because your best mates are too and told you how much  _fun_ it is, then so be it," Pansy hissed, straightening her back and putting on a strong front. "I'll send the rest of your belongings to wherever you end up."

Again, Ron tried to step towards her, a strangled, "Pans," escaping his mouth, but the damage was done. He wanted to be single? To leave her alone?  _Fine_.

"Get out, Weasley. We're done here."

She turned and walked briskly from the kitchen, heading straight for her office. Once sealed inside, she angrily pushed her hands through her short hair, tugging slightly as she tried to wrap her mind around everything that just occurred. Ron, the love of her  _fucking_  life, basically just broke up with her, and she allowed it to happen.

"Bollocks," Pansy whispered to the room full of unfinished wedding dresses, all of which were designed with her future engagement in mind. What an utter fucking nightmare. Spinning in a slow circle, she tried to take it all in while she heard Ron rummaging through the bedroom above her as he gathered his things and prepared to depart. She wasn't ready for this, not at all.

When the house was quiet, Ron having either  _apparated_  or taken the floo somewhere, Pansy emerged from her office and headed for the kitchen again. Picking up the phone from the cradle, she dialed Ginny's number. It was late, well after eleven at this point, so there was little to no chance that either of her girlfriends were awake or willing to hear her sob story. Not that she was going to cry…

When, at long last, someone did pick up the phone, it was Ginny and she sounded sleepy. "'lo," she mumbled, stifling a yawn. Pansy almost felt bad disturbing her sleep, knowing she probably had training in the morning.

"It's me," came her miserable reply. Feeling both mentally and physically exhausted all of a sudden, the adrenaline wearing off as her rage fizzled out; Pansy slid down until she was sitting on the floor with her back against the counter.

"Pansy? It's late…on a  _Tuesday_ … What's wrong?" The girls knew she and Ron always had sexy time on Tuesdays, constantly teasing her about how titillating Tuesdays were for the couple. Well, that wasn't happening any longer.

As her head lolled backward, hitting the hard surface with a 'thunk', she decided not to beat around the bush and straight up told Ginny what she was thinking.

"You're brother basically just told me that because his 'bffs' are single, he wants to be too."

"You're kidding!" Ginny gasped, clearly shocked by the news.

That made two of them. Just wait until Hermione found out. She was going to lose her shit, probably more than any of the three of them. Ron was always a sensitive subject for her, having dated him herself. Although, that probably meant she would also be more sympathetic to what an utter fuck up he turned out to be in this case.

"Nope. I cannot make this shit up."

"What did you do," her girlfriend whispered, obviously in abject horror.

"I told him to get the fuck out, obviously." Rolling her dark eyes, Pansy wondered what she would do now. She ought to go and set fire to the rest of Ron's belongings… Well, maybe not.

"That's probably for the best. What a right mess—all three of us dumped. What are we going to do?" Pansy could hear the smirk in Ginny's voice and couldn't help her own from sliding onto her face.

"No idea, but I do know one thing," Pansy replied, examining her fingernails for a second.

"What's that?"

"If Ron wants my forgiveness, he's going to have to truly show me how sorry he is. You know me, I'm going to make that boy suffer." The last thing she heard before saying goodnight was Ginny's laughter. It made her feel better knowing her friends were on her side and there for her right now. Actually, they all needed each other right now. They'd make it through this dark time, and end up all the stronger, as long as they stuck together and didn't let their exes get them down.

Hanging up the phone, Pansy went to bed alone for the first time in years. As she snuggled under the covers of her king-sized bed, Pansy decided that it was going to take a hell of a lot for her to let Ron Weasley back into her heart and life.


	2. One: Don't Pick Up The Phone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/146849789@N04/23912348988/in/dateposted-public/)  
> 
> 
>  
> 
> Song Recommendations: "New Rules" by Dua Lipa, "Reasons" by Bahari, "Hot N Cold" by Katy Perry, "You're Such A" by Hailee Steinfeld, "Shut Up and Let Me Go" by The Ting Tings, "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" by Taylor Swift, and "Really Don't Care" by Demi Lovato and Cher Lloyd
> 
>  
> 
> [Listen to the New Rules playlist here!](https://open.spotify.com/user/1246401351/playlist/1oG6Qgo677WlNrAjbU6PUt)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really quite blown away by the response I've had to this story. I apologize for not updating sooner, but life sort of gets away from me sometimes. Not to mention, I'm writing about seven other different projects at moment. I want to thank all of you who left positive response to this story. I just want to let you know I probably won't update again until after November since I'll be working explicitly on Empire during NaNoWriMo. Anyway, I wanted to get this out before then so you didn't think I'd forgotten about you. Read on my loves and I look forward to more of your fabulous feedback! Huge thanks to GaeilgeRua for alpha beta reading. Much love, xxDustNight
> 
> Trigger Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations/References, Male Bashing, Drinking, and maybe a tinsy bit of Infidelity (just to be safe)
> 
> Disclaimer: All non-original characters, plot points, and information belongs to those at Warner Brothers or J.K. Rowling. The title, "New Rules" comes from the song of the same title by Dua Lipa. The story plot and dialogue belongs to me. I do not write for profit.

_One: Don't Pick Up the Phone_

_Ginny_

Turning off the shower, Ginny reached for her towel just as the phone began to ring from the front room. She frowned, holding the towel as she listened to it ring and ring and ring. Her heart pounded in her chest as she struggled not to forgo drying off just to run and answer the phone. Holding her breath, she clutched the towel to her naked chest until, at last, the shrill sound ceased and the flat returned to silence.

Exhaling slowly with relief, Ginny finally began to continue her post shower routine. She dried quickly, her mind flooded with way too many thoughts this Saturday night. Thoughts she'd much rather not be having four months after coming home to find a bloody break-up note tacked to the mantle. Harry Potter. Her mind was running rampant with thoughts about Harry and there wasn't a thing she could do to stop them.

The phone call? Probably him. He'd been ringing her on and off every night for the past week or so wanting to "talk". No, Ginny knew what he really wanted, and that was back in her knickers. Not going to happen. Maybe. Probably. No! It absolutely was not going to happen. She'd been successful so far and fully intended to keep it that way. At least, that was the plan. As long as he eventually stopped calling, and she continued to ignore the phone, she'd make it through this.

Finished in the loo, Ginny made her way to the bedroom which seemed far too lonely these days in order to get dressed. She was meant to meet up with Hermione and Pansy at some Muggle pub in just under an hour, but she wasn't quite sure she felt like going. Hermione was heading there after having dinner with her parents and Pansy had some fancy dress fitting to deal with before arriving also. It would be so easy for Ginny to simply call and leave a message for the pair with the bartender.

Growling at herself for being such a spoilsport, Ginny stomped towards her closet and began rifling around. Quickly, she found something suitable to wear for a night out with the girls and began to get dressed. She wasn't going to allow her bloody ex to bring her down. She may still love him, but she was really trying here! Settling on her black jeans and green, sequin tank top, Ginny thought about what she wanted to drink tonight instead.

Since the three of them all ended up single around the same time, they'd started having a weekly girl's night out in order to drink, de-stress, and bitch about their single status. It was a fun way to end the week, and Ginny honestly looked forward to it. She was just a bit distracted by the fact that Harry continued to call her day after day, and night after night. She'd asked him to stop numerous times, but the calls just became more frequent.

Now she was avoiding answering them entirely, but that didn't deter him in the slightest. Finished getting ready, Ginny gave herself one last look in her full-length mirror before grabbing her purse and heading to the door. She paused, eyeing the phone warily as if it might ring again at any second. If it did, she wasn't sure whether or not she'd answer. She liked to think she was stronger than that, but she'd loved Harry for most of her life. Letting him go wasn't as easy as she thought it would be. Sighing, Ginny turned away from the phone and  _apparated_  away.

* * *

 

"You're late," Pansy drawled as Ginny slid into the booth across from her and Hermione. "I've already coerced goody-goody here to take three shots." She jerked her head in Hermione's direction, a smile that was entirely Slytherin sliding onto her pretty features.

"Sorry. Couldn't figure out what to wear," she lied quickly, signaling to the nearest waitress that they were in need of drinks. Smiling at Hermione, she added, "Three shots, eh? Tonight is going to get interesting. Will there be dancing on the table again?"

"There better not be," Pansy snapped, glaring at the two of them over the brim of her martini glass. The magical drink was simmering slightly, a swirling purple fog billowing gently over the sides. "The last time that happened, Hannah had to threaten to kick the three of us out of here for good."

"Come on, Pans," Ginny teased. "We all know that was more because you'd taken off your shirt and walked around the bar in just your black, lace brassiere."

"Semantics," she said with a smirk, eyes glittering in the semi-darkness. "Now, are you going to tell us the  _real_  reason you were late, or do we have to badger you after you've had five or six shots?"

"I'm not getting trashed tonight," Ginny told her, pointing her finger at the witch. "So don't even try it. I've not eaten since breakfast and had a shit day at practice. All I want are a few cocktails to mellow me out and to enjoy the company of you two bitches."

"You live with this bitch," Pansy said, taking Ginny's pointed finger and redirecting it towards Hermione. "I am stuck living alone and thus am not privy to  _all_  your little secrets. So spill it. Now."

"Ugh," Ginny groaned just as the waitress brought her and Hermione fresh drinks. "Fine." Taking a sip of her gin and tonic, she felt herself begin to relax ever so slightly. "Have either of you heard from Ron or Draco since breaking up?"

"Sure," answered Hermione.

"A few times." Pansy shrugged.

Well, that was certainly a relief to hear. Ginny was starting to think it was her that was hearing from her ex weeks after the breakup. Granted, this wasn't the first time this happened between her and Harry, but it was definitely the most harrowing. Okay, now she was being overly dramatic. Taking a large swig of her drink, Ginny decided it was probably for the best if she explained why she was asking such a question. Mostly because Pansy and Hermione were giving her questioning stares, and that never boded well.

"I only ask because Harry's been calling me multiple times a day for the past few weeks."

"So  _that's_  who all those missed calls are from!" Hermione exclaimed, slapping her hand down on the tabletop at Ginny's revelation. "I thought something was wrong with the phone."

"Nope. Just Harry calling and calling,  _and_  calling." Ginny sagged in her seat, feeling the exhaustion of the entire situation creeping up on her. "It's rather irritating, to be honest. I was finally feeling alright about the situation, and then here he comes calling and making me second guess everything again."

"You can't cave this time, Gin," Hermione said sadly, reaching out to pat the back of her hand. "He's done this shit to you time and time again."

"Yeah, that twat needs to get over himself and let it go!" Pansy always got a bit feisty when she started drinking. "How many times has he broken up with you and then come crawling back, begging forgiveness?"

Ginny shook her head, stuttering out her answer. "I—I don't know."

"That's more than enough times. You deserve better than that, and you'll find someone who is ready to fully commit when the time is right." Despite Harry being one of her closest friends, Hermione knew her friend needed support. "Harry has been one of my best friends since first year, but I am not on his side about this. He screwed up, big time, and now he's going to see just how much better off you are without him."

"He's messing with you, Gin," Pansy told her without sugarcoating it. "He knows he was able to pull you back in numerous times before. This time, you need to show him you're strong enough to stick it out. Make him sweat. Hell, maybe after a good amount of time he'll prove himself worthy of your affection and time."

"Hopefully, by that point you've found someone better, though," Hermione pointed out, sipping her drink thoughtfully. "I'm sure we can find you someone to hook up with in the meantime."

"We've got you."

Ginny felt close to tears. Well, as close as she ever allowed herself to get anyway. Hermione and Pansy were truly her best mates and she appreciated everything they were saying to her. It didn't stop the lingering uncertainty that made her want to answer that phone each time he called, though. Shifting guiltily in her seat, she wondered what they would think if they knew she'd been answering his calls.

"Thank you, loves… I guess I should admit that I've answered the phone a few times…"

"What!?" Both Hermione and Pansy exclaimed at once, the former nearly toppling over her drink. They gave each other a shocked look before turning back to Ginny.

"Yeah, he, uh, he likes to call and tell me how much he misses me. Then, we usually chat for a while before he either falls asleep or I do. Sometimes we…um…" Ginny felt her cheeks turning bright red, and it wasn't from the gin and tonic she'd almost finished.

"You're kidding, right?" Pansy was giving her a look of exasperation. It was the one she was prone to receiving when Ginny tried to tell her that she had no desire to play dress up when Pansy had a new line of dresses to test out. Yeah, that job usually ended up going to Hermione while Ginny watched from a safe distance across the room.

"No…" She hated to admit it, but it was the truth. Strong and normally independent, Ginny just couldn't help herself when it came to Harry.

"Sweet Salazar," mumbled Pansy, running her fingers through her short, dark hair. "Look, you can't be doing shit like that. The more you allow him in, the more he's going to use you!"

"She has a point," Hermione said, pursing her lips. "I'm suddenly feeling rather glad Draco never got used to the telephone. He only ever really contacts me when he finds one of my books tucked away someplace or some random trinket I left behind. Usually it's by owl, but he did stop by my office once. It's a lot easier when we communicate by letter… I don't have to hear his voice or see his face."

"Ron's called a few times, wanting to apologize, I suppose." Pansy smirked, her eyes lighting up again. "Although, I usually just hang up as soon as I realize it's him. I don't have time for his useless apologies. He should have thought things through before jumping on board the 'Single-Life-Is-Better' train with Harry Twatter and Mal-fuck-face."

Ginny snickered into her glass, always enjoying Pansy's crassness when it came to their current predicament. She'd taken her breakup the best, not breaking down like she and Hermione had done. Ginny had gone down the partying road, spending  _weeks_ after Harry left with the younger generation of her teammates. They liked to hit up all the very best Wizarding parties, drinking until nearly dawn before crashing. Then, they'd get maybe two hours of sleep before practice.

That ended when Hermione moved in, thankfully. The bookworm helped her to realize she wasn't doing herself any good. All the partying and drinking was going to get her in trouble at some point. She still went out on occasion, but more often than not, her weekly girl's night was the extent of her drinking for the week. Besides, when she was drinking, she was more inclined to answer those calls from Harry…

"I'm just weak when it comes to him," Ginny admitted after some time. "I hear the phone ring and my heart leaps." Scrunching up her face in disgust at her actions, she waited for her friends to judge her for her actions. She was pleasantly surprised by their reactions, however.

"You're not weak, love." Pansy spoke softly, a look of understanding crossing her features. "The breakup is fresh, for all of us." Hermione nodded in agreement at this and Ginny started to feel a bit more at ease. "It's going to take us all some time to get over these horrid, horrid wizards, but it's something we can do if we stick together."

"Yes!" Hermione perked up, clapping her hands together with a look of pure excitement on her features. Ginny loved when Hermione drank; she always got a bit giddy and playful. "We should come up with rules!"

"Rules?" Ginny frowned, not fully understanding where she was going with this.

"What the hell are you going on about," Pansy asked her friend, turning in the booth to stare at her incredulously. "What do we need fucking rules for? We're grown ass women."

"Isn't it obvious?" Hermione opened her hands, spreading her palms wide and giving them both curious stares.

"No." They agreed in unison, to which Hermione sighed.

"We need a set of New Rules to help us get through our breakups. You know, rules of things we shouldn't be doing when it comes to our exes." When their faces indicated understanding, it was Hermione's turn to smirk triumphantly. Ginny suddenly realized she'd probably picked up a few habits from Draco while they were dating. Lovely.

"I see where you're going with this, and it might be a good idea, actually." Pausing to sip at her gin and tonic, Ginny tried to come up with a few rules that might be fun to implement between the three of them. "Any ideas?"

"Oh, I've got one," Pansy practically sang. "But you're not going to like it." She laughed, a bit sinisterly. Bloody Slytherin.

"Hit me," Ginny prompted her friend, slamming her empty tumbler down on the tabletop. A waitress passing by gave them a glare, but kept moving. Hopefully, she was off to bring them more refreshments. "I can handle it."

"One: Don't pick up the phone," Pansy narrowed her eyes. "You know he's only calling because he's drunk and alone."

Ginny's face fell, but only a smidge. Pansy had a point; Harry did only call when he'd been drinking and was alone… Always claiming how much he missed her and wished she was there with him, or he there with her. Yup. Definitely a good point, indeed.

"Ohhhh!" Hermione chimed in. "Yes! So true!"

"Fine. I won't pick up the phone. Not again."

"Good." Pansy thanked the waitress a she appeared with refills to their drinks, as well as three shots of firewhisky that Hermione somehow ordered without their knowing. "Now, let's toast to a brighter future without those bloody gits and think of a few other rules to help us make it through."

Picking up her shot, Ginny had to admit she felt a little more at ease knowing her friends were willing to help her deal with Harry and his stupid phone fetish. Besides, they were dealing with the same things, and now they had a fun way to keep each other accountable. Clinking her glass against the other two, she downed the fiery liquid and enjoyed the way it burned her throat. Slapping it upside-down on the table she peered mischievously at her two best mates.

"I think I have an idea for the second rule…"

"Do tell," Pansy prompted, fingers coming up to trace her red painted lips.

And so it began.

* * *

 

Hermione was sitting across from her, reading quietly on the sofa when the phone rang three days later. Ginny lifted her gaze from the broom she'd been polishing to find her friend staring at her intently. As the phone continued to ring, Ginny became uneasy, hoping it wasn't Harry, but knowing that it was somehow. She set aside the broom and stood, starting to make her way towards the stand by the door where their phone was situated.

"Don't," Hermione warned, a worried look in her brown eyes. "You know it's him."

"It could be my mum and dad…or Ron. Hell, it could be Pansy." Ginny glanced away, knowing she was lying. Pansy never called unless it was late; she normally just showed up if she wanted to talk to the two of them.

"You know that's a load of garbage," Hermione said with a small smile. She rather enjoyed calling people out on their lies.

Ginny huffed a sigh, hand hovering over the receiver. She didn't want to answer the phone, but there was a desire within her to just pick it up and tell Harry off once and for all. Maybe then he would stop calling. Maybe then she could finally move on. Just as she was about to answer the call, the ringing stopped, sending the flat into an intense silence.

Grimacing at what she'd just been about to do, she sent Hermione a frantic look. Hermione merely pulled a face before shrugging and going back to her book. A weird sense of relief and anxiety overcame Ginny as she made to return to the sofa and finish polishing her broom for tomorrow's practice. Unfortunately, she hadn't moved more than four steps when the ringing started up again.

Oh yes. That was most definitely Harry Bloody Potter.

Closing her eyes as the anxiety outgrew the relief, Ginny tried to be strong. She failed miserably though, eyes flashing open and hand grabbing for the phone before Hermione could warn her against what a mistake this would be. Screw the rules. She wanted to hear his voice something fierce, and that made her undeniably angry with herself.

"Hello," she croaked, voice laced with self-loathing and regret.

"Gin, it's me."

Her heart panged at hearing Harry's voice once more. Hermione was staring at her with something akin to pity on her round face, so Ginny turned her back on her friend, not needing that right this minute. Focusing on the sound of Harry's breathing on the other end of the line, Ginny exhaled before speaking again.

"Hi… Why are you calling?"

"I missed you. Can we talk for a while"?

There was a definitive sultriness to his voice, as well as that subtle indication that he had, in fact, been drinking. She knew what he wanted. Harry expected her to talk to him about little things at first like their day or what they'd been up to. Then… Oh then he would steer the conversation more towards how much he missed the sound of her voice, the feel of her hair between his fingers, the way her body felt underneath his own.

The conversation would take a turn then, until they were both a panting mess across the line. Normally, Harry would find his satisfaction first before saying goodbye and hanging up on her. She'd be left to either take care of her own unfinished needs or cry into her pillow until she fell asleep in an unsatisfied tangle of limbs accompanied with a broken heart. She  _hated_  herself for falling for his lines every single time he called, but she couldn't help herself.

"Uh… I don't know, Harry. I think it's best you stop calling me," she forced out, her heart breaking all over again. "You broke up with me, remember?"

He laughed, the sound comfortably familiar and condescending all at the same. It made her want to hate him… "Yeah, I know, but I know you miss me too. Can't we just forget about all that for a little while and  _talk_? I know you want to. You still love me, don't you?"

Ginny's eyes widened at the blatant disregard for her feelings and she turned to see what Hermione was doing. Her flat mate and friend was watching the exchange intently, brow furrowed because she could only hear one end of the conversation. Ginny assumed she could piece together what Harry was saying well enough by the defeated and torn look on her face anyway.

"What do I do," she mouthed silently to Hermione. Hermione's shoulder sagged and she gave her a soft smile of reassurance while holding up a single finger.

Their first rule, and she'd broken it. Damn it. Ginny leaned against the wall and raked her fingers angrily through her red hair. Harry was still waiting for an answer, his breathing making her pulse race just like it always did. But she needed this to stop because if it didn't, she'd just fall right back into his arms when he finally came crawling back to the flat like the last five times he'd walked out on her.

No, enough was enough. With a sudden burst of clarity, Ginny nodded once at Hermione and then decided to tell Harry exactly what she had on her mind. Summoning all her Gryffindor courage, as well as the saucy Slytherin characteristics Pansy bestowed upon her over the years, Ginny squared her shoulders and cleared her throat.

"I have loved you for half my life," Ginny hissed into the phone, her voice trembling ever so slightly as she closed her eyes. Wiping her free hand over her weary face, Ginny knew there was no easy way to do this. "But I am  _done_  running after you, Harry. I've sat on the sidelines time after time, waiting for you to get it together and come home, but no more. It ends tonight."

"Gin—"

"No," she barked out, cutting him off before he could promise her forever, or worse, utter those three little words that still rang inside her head. Her eyes snapped open so she could stare blankly at the wall of the living room. No longer were there moving pictures of her and Harry there to make her feel remorse over their breakup. Gripping the receiver, she ended it. "I'm done talking to you about how much you miss me just so you can have a wank alone in your bed. Don't call me again."

Without waiting for Harry to respond, Ginny slammed the phone back into the cradle, ending the call succinctly. Then, she turned to Hermione with wide, terror filled eyes. "What have I just done?"

Hermione was out of her seat, book falling to the floor as she hurried over to her friend. Taking Ginny by the shoulders, she smiled warmly into her face. "That was brilliant! You did great! I'm so proud of you, Ginny."

"Merlin, what if I'm making a mistake?"

"You're not." Hermione's hands gripped her reassuringly. "He needed to hear that, and you needed to say it, as well. For closure. Now you'll be able to properly move on."

As Ginny opened her mouth to reply, the phone began to ring, Harry obviously calling back to try and make her see that she was making a mistake. Instead of panicking, she glared at the damned thing and pulled her wand from the holster at her waist. Quirking an eyebrow at Hermione she pointed the wand at the phone and met Hermione's confused stare,

"One," she muttered, sending a blasting spell to the shrill contraception. "Don't pick up the phone."

"Good girl," Hermione playfully praised her, pulling her in for a hug. "Now, let's pop open a bottle of wine and celebrate. I'm sure Pansy can pull herself away from her dress designs to join us. I'll floo over and grab her." Flouncing away happily, Hermione disappeared through the floo in a flash of green light to pick up their friend now that they no longer had a phone.

Laughing to herself, Ginny padded into the kitchen to fetch a fresh bottle of wine from the rack along with three glasses. Already she felt better, the tendrils of Harry's insistent phone calls dissipating from her mind. She felt freer than she had in weeks, and that was exactly what she needed to get over this breakup. Now she just had to be there while Pansy and Hermione finished getting over theirs.

Just as she was popping the cork, her girlfriends came barreling back through the floo a tangle of limbs and giggles. She met them in the living room, entirely ready to have a fun-filled night of drinking and wizard bashing. She had a few ideas of how they could get through this,  _and_  make the boys suffer. She just had to think on it for a little while first before sharing with her two best mates. Yes, she was going to be alright, and so would her friends. Their rules were going to make sure of that.


	3. Two: Don't Let Him In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/146849789@N04/42060352204/in/dateposted-public/)  
> 
> 
>  
> 
> Song Recommendations: "New Rules" by Dua Lipa, "My Happy Ending" by Avril Lavigne, "King of Anything" by Sara Barreilles, "Needed Me" by Rihanna, "Do it like a Dude" by Jessie J, "Water Under the Bridge" by Adele, and "You Ruin Me" by The Veronicas
> 
>  
> 
> [Listen to the New Rules playlist here!](https://open.spotify.com/user/1246401351/playlist/1oG6Qgo677WlNrAjbU6PUt)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you don't hate me for making you wait so long for an update. My own life has been quite turbulent these past few months and I'm just now getting back into the swing of things. Anyway, I have plans of finishing this story before I leave on holiday so hopefully the muse cooperates. Anyway, enjoy this installment. I think it might be my favorite so far! Huge thanks to GaeilgeRua for beta reading and SquarePeg72 for alpha reading. Any other misatkes you find are my own. Much love, xxDustNight
> 
> Disclaimer: All non-original characters, plot points, and information belongs to those at Warner Brothers or J.K. Rowling. The title, "New Rules" comes from the song of the same title by Dua Lipa. The story plot and dialogue belongs to me. I do not write for profit.

_Pansy_

Aside from the scratching of a quill, there was no other sound in the room. Irritated and in a horribly bad mood this morning, Pansy had ordered her associates to stay the hell out of her office so she could work in peace. She absolutely abhorred the paperwork portion of owning her own business, but there was nothing to be done about it. She loved creating beautiful masterpieces with fabric and magic, so she would deal with the heinous task of making sure the paperwork was taken care of.

Sighing in irritation as she put yet another finished form into the bin to be sent out, she thought about her day so far. She'd woken up on the wrong side of her king-sized bed. Alone. That was the problem. She hated sleeping alone after being with Ron for so long. Sighing so that her fringe fluffed up against her forehead, she knew it was his own doing though. He'd wanted out because his so-called friends were suddenly single and he'd panicked.

Pansy had thought they were going to get engaged soon, and then eventually married. Hell, she still had her nearly finished wedding gown on a manikin in her home office. Even after all these weeks, she was still unable to dismantle the thing. Sure, she'd been the one to kick Ron out, but her heart still ached for him. Damn love. It was a nuisance, and she hated it. Why couldn't her break-up be easy like Ginny and Hermione's?

At first, Ginny had issues with Harry continuously calling but with their new rules in place; she was finally able to stick up for herself. Now Harry left her entirely alone which was for the best. Hermione, while still feeling a bit down about her and Draco's sudden separation, was still able to work with him without issue. She was always the most sensible of the three of them. Ron, on the other hand, kept sending her owls to her work or their townhouse, wanting to see her and talk. Clearly, he had realized his mistake and was trying to get back with her. She just had to try and hold back from caving in.

She was lonely, though. Ginny and Hermione lived together, but she was stuck all alone in the townhouse she and Ron bought together. Maybe she should ask Millie to move in for a while. Merlin knew that witch could use some time living away from her family's ever watchful eye. Unfortunately, that would mean Daphne and Astoria would constantly be over to hang out. She really couldn't stand the way those two witches gossiped or went through men like knickers. No, she would just have to suck it up and deal with being single for now.

Sighing in defeat, Pansy reached for yet another form to be completed just as there was a knock on her office door. Rolling her eyes, she called out, "Come in," hoping that her assistant was just telling her she was popping out for lunch and not bringing her bad news or more paperwork. The door opened and in popped the head of her cheerful assistant.

"Ms. Parkinson?"

"Yes?"

"There's someone here to see you," the eager witch said, ducking her eyes.

That made Pansy pause for a second before replying. "Who? I don't have any consultations scheduled until tomorrow morning."

"Uh, well…" Her assistant trailed off, obviously unsure whether or not to reveal who was waiting to see her. In the end, she managed to spit it out. "It's Mr. Weasley. Ron Weasley. He wanted to speak with you for a few moments."

Pansy merely blinked at this news. He hadn't yet tried contacting  _actually_  coming to her work, but now here he was wanting to see her. Clearing her throat, Pansy had to make a decision quickly lest her assistant think she was crazy. Everyone knew she and Ron were no longer seeing one another, but he'd never come to see her at work before. He'd only sent letters asking for her to see him. This was probably some sort of last-ditch effort to get her attention. Deciding she had to get this taken care of quickly she, nodded.

"Sure. Fine. Let him in."

When her assistant nodded and disappeared to get Ron, Pansy jumped up from behind her chair and hurried to look in the mirror hanging behind her desk. She quickly patted down her hair, ensuring that it was laying flat and sleek as it always was. Her red lipstick was still in perfect condition and despite having sat all morning, her form-fitting, black dress was as well. The only thing that appeared off were her eyes which showed her nerves. She quickly gulped down a few breaths to calm herself and then turned around just as her assistant brought Ron through the door.

Neither she nor Ron spoke until the door shut and they were alone for the first time in ages. Then, Ron held up a bag and gave her a nervous smile. "I brought lunch from your favorite restaurant. I figured you might be hungry and I wanted to talk to you. If that's okay. If not, I can leave." He was rambling, but it was better than what she could have managed right now.

Taking a deep breath, Pansy held up a single hand and cut him off before he could continue blabbering. "Ronald," she began, realizing it felt strange to address him after being apart for so long. Regaining her bearings, she shook her head and tried to give him a reassuring smile. "It's fine. Have a seat."

"Really?" Ron practically deflated with relief, his shoulders sagging and the color returning to his face. He carried the bag over to her desk and began laying out their lunch. "I figured you wouldn't even let me in to see you after ignoring all my letters, not that it matters. I was just worried, and there's so much I want to say."

Settling back into her chair, Pansy accepted the container of caprese salad and a fork from her ex-boyfriend. "Relax, Ronald. Let's just have lunch and talk, okay?"

Sitting down and opening his own container of food, Ron smiled at her. "Sorry, I was doing the rambling thing again. I'm nervous."

Pansy laughed lightly. "That's obvious, but honestly; chill." She pointed at the food on the desk. "Did you bring drinks?"

"Oh! Right…" Ron reached back into the bag and retrieved two bottles of fizzy wizard soda. It was an old favorite of theirs and Pansy hadn't had any since their breakup. "Here you go. You still like the cherry kind, right?"

"Yeah, it's my favorite," Pansy replied and took the bottle from Ron. She took a sip and set it aside. "So… How are you?" She then tucked into her meal, not wanting Ron to think she was just rushing to the discussion part of the reason he was here.

"Well, I've been okay," Ron started to say and then roughly set down his fork and ran a hand through his hair. "That's a lie, Pansy."

Confused, Pansy set aside her fork as well and took another sip of her drink. So they were really going to do this then? She supposed it was long overdue, but this was definitely not what she expected when she woke up today. Nevertheless, it was time to have this discussion. "What do you mean?"

"I miss you," he said simply, his blue eyes shining. "I miss you. I miss us. I fucked up. Royally."

"Oh." It was all she could say in response to that. She had just been thinking that morning on how much she still loved Ron and here he was, admitting he was wrong. It was a dream come true and yet a total nightmare as well. Inwardly groaning, Pansy immediately regretted accepting his offer for lunch. This was going to ruin everything.

Taking her response negatively, Ron stood and began pacing. "I knew it was a mistake to come here. I'm so sorry, Pans. Just kick me out." He turned and faced her properly, and she could have sworn there were tears in his eyes for a second. "Tell me to go, and I swear I will and leave you alone."

"I don't know what to say," she whispered loud enough for him to hear. She was staring at her hands and avoiding the tears in his eyes. Sighing, she lifted her gaze and found him still standing there awkwardly. "I want to say get the fuck out, but this is also kind of nice. I'm rather torn about this, Ronald. You were going to break up with me because Draco and Harry told you it was  _fun_  to be single."

"Merlin," he mumbled, rubbing a hand over his face. "I know, and that was so stupid of me. I should never have listened to those two. I ruined everything."

"We agree on that much," Pansy said and then grabbed for her fork. "Ron, sit down. Eat lunch and tell me about the shop, your brother, and your mum. Let's not talk about what could have been today, okay?" She honestly wasn't as ready as she thought she was for this conversation. It was breaking the rules she and her girlfriends created, but clearly, Ron needed this as much as she knew she did too.

Ron audibly swallowed and then resumed sitting across from her. "Thank you, Pans. I know my sister and Hermione probably told you to stay away from me, but I had to come."

"I know, and I understand." She hated how weak this made her.  _There goes all that girl power and what not._  Forcing a smile on her face, she gestured for Ron to resume eating. "No more talking about us today."

As Ron nodded and happily launched into a story about his and George's latest creation, Pansy couldn't help but be distracted. This was stupid and something she would probably regret. Thank Merlin she was having drinks with the girls tonight. She'd talk to them, and together they would figure out what she should do next in regards to dealing with her ex. Until then, she'd just deal with the guilt and whatever other feelings Ron's sudden reappearance evoked inside her heart.

* * *

 

Pansy was just finishing getting ready to leave for the pub when there was a knock at the door. Frowning, she grabbed her clutch and stepped into her silver heels before heading downstairs to answer the door. Idly, she wondered if Hermione and Ginny were meeting her here rather than at the pub. Although, they never mentioned that so she had no idea. Rubbing her lips together to ensure her lipstick was perfect, she reached for the door handle and opened it. All the breath left her in a rush when she saw who was on the other side.

"Hey-" Ron started to say, waving a little. He lowered his hand as his smile fell away from his face and then he said, "Oh, you're going out."

"Uh, yeah. I'm meeting the girls for drinks," Pansy explained, gesturing at her outfit and wondering why the hell he was here to begin with. "Did you need something?"

"Um…" He scratched at the back of his head and struggled to meet her eyes. "We didn't really finish our discussion about us at lunch today, and I wanted to stop by and see if we couldn't, you know, figure things out between us."

 _Remember the rules,_  Pansy thought and swallowed heavily. "Sorry, Ronald. I'm already running a little behind. I can't talk tonight."  _Or possibly ever_ … She hated telling him to leave, but she couldn't do this right now.

"Right. I understand," he said, clearly sounding like he didn't understand at all. "Maybe some other time then."

"Yeah," Pansy said before she could stop herself. She flinched and then added, "Maybe. I'm not sure, Ron, but I have to go. Bye." Sometimes, Pansy hated having to be a bitch. It was was necessary though, at least in this situation.

"Sure, Pans," Ron muttered, stepping back and then turning. He started the head down the steps and looked over his shoulder. With a sad look in his eyes, he said, "See you around."

Pansy merely nodded before slamming the door shut and then placing her back against it for support. Her heart was beating frantically in her chest, and her eyes felt prickly from unshed tears. Damn Ron and this love she still felt for the git. Why did he have to come and see her twice in one day? Didn't he understand she was trying to get over his sorry arse so she could be happy again? Sniffling, Pansy shook her head at her silliness and pushed away from the door.

Now she was going to be late to the pub since she had to fix her makeup. She just hoped the girls would understand and that they would have some wise words to help her get through this ordeal. She wanted to be strong and stand by her decision to break things off with Ron, she truly did, but it was hard when she obviously still loved him. He felt some way for her still as well, or he wouldn't be coming to see her after all this time. With a heavy sigh, Pansy returned to her room and tidied up. Her feelings would have to wait; she had drinks to consume.

* * *

 

"I know how we can get back at the guys," Ginny told Pansy as they waited for Hermione to arrive. They were happily sipping away at their favorite simmering martinis and catching up on their days.

Curiosity piqued, Pansy quirked an eyebrow and asked, "Yeah? And how is that?"

"We date other men. Friends of theirs, even." Ginny looked rather proud of herself for that.

Pansy rolled her eyes. "Ginny, we're not in Hogwarts anymore. We're not children trying to make boys jealous, so they come running back to us. Besides, don't you feel better not having to worry about Harry anymore?"

"Come on," Ginny practically whined ignoring the comment about Harry. "It's just fun speculation. If you started dating someone like my brother George or even Neville, Ron wouldn't know what hit him."

That was true. It was clear after today that Ron still had feelings for her so dating someone would surely rock his world. It may be good for her, actually, to get back out there. How long had it been since she dated someone? Far too long. Before Ron, she'd briefly dated Marcus Flint, but prior to that… Draco, way back in Hogwarts. Wow. She really had a dry spell there. Ron had come along, and that was it. Love at first sight after the War and all that…

But could she do that? Date a friend of his to make him feel worse than he already did about the situation. No. No, she was not going to be that much of a bitch. Sometimes, Pansy had to remember that she was, in fact, a grown ass witch with a mind of her own. Ginny could get her revenge in her own way, but that's not what Pansy wanted. She merely wanted the heartache to end and for Ron to maybe leave her alone long enough so she could do that.

Shaking her head, she ignored the disappointed groan Ginny made. "That might work for you, Gin, but I need my closure first before I get back out there into the dating world." When Ginny made to argue, Pansy held up a hand and added, "I'll get there eventually, but right now isn't the time."

Pansy was glad the door of the pub opened, and Hermione appeared looking a bit rushed so that Ginny couldn't try and sway her anymore. She quickly spotted them and began making her way through the crowd. Sighing with a bit of relief, Pansy was thankful Hermione was there. The bushy-haired witch always tended to side with her when it came to Ginny's revenge schemes.

"Hey bitch," Pansy greeted, watching as Hermione tried to smooth down her frazzled curls. "You look like you had a shit day."

Hermione playfully stuck her tongue out at Pansy which caused the dark-haired witch to smile. "You always say the nicest things," Hermione said, placing her hands on her hips.

"You're late," Ginny pointed out as Hermione joined them at the booth in the corner. She took in her rumpled work clothes and asked, "Why?" They always went home and changed before coming out for drinks and clearly she wasn't late because of a wardrobe change.

Running a hand nervously through her abundance of curls, Hermione rolled her eyes and replied, "Hello to you, too. And, I got held up at work. It's this new case Draco and I are working. It's a real...nuisance. Any chance you ordered one of those for me?" She pointed at the simmering martinis her girlfriends were drinking.

"Not yet because we had no idea when you were getting here," Ginny snapped but waved over the waitress so Hermione could put in an order. "You've been spending a lot of time with Draco again lately."

"It's nothing. Just the case," Hermione muttered as the waitress stepped up to their table. To her she said, "I'll have what they're having and keep them coming, please."

"Must be some case," Pansy said and then smirked. "Then again, having to work with your ex must be a nightmare. I know I couldn't do it."

"You're lucky," Hermione said as she removed her coat and settled in for the duration of their evening. "Ron hasn't bothered you at all since you kicked him out for trying to break up with you."

"Yeah," Ginny chimed in, picking the olive out of her martini. "It took ages to get Harry off my back, and poor Hermione is stuck working with her ex. Then, there's you. I'm surprised my brother isn't knocking down your door to get back into your knickers. After all, I did overhear him telling George last Sunday at dinner that he regretted falling for Harry and Draco's ploys."

"What?" Pansy sputtered, nearly choking on the sip of the drink she'd just taken. Clearing her throat and blinking the tears from her eyes, she asked, "He really said that?"

"Yeah, so I figured he would have reached out to you by now."

Pansy bit her lip instead of responding right away. It also helped that the waitress had returned with Hermione's drink. They tried not to talk about their personal lives around the staff in case it made its way back to the papers. None of them wanted their business splashed across the pages like their initial break-ups were. Damn war veterans and all that… As they were once again left alone, Pansy set her glass down on the surface of the table and slowly met the eyes of her friends.

"Well, I guess that explains why he came to see me at work this afternoon." She didn't bother bringing up the brief encounter prior to coming to the pub. This would be enough to get their knickers in a twist.

Hermione merely blinked as she drank her martini, the swirling smoke making it difficult to read her features. Ginny, on the other hand, snorted and slapped her palm down which caused Pansy's drink to slosh about. Yeah, she was going to regret admitting this information to her friends given the shit they all went through to get to this point. Not to mention, they had rules about this sort of thing.

"I knew it." The redhead was grinning. "I knew my insipid brother couldn't stay away."

"What happened?" Hermione questioned, giving Pansy a sympathetic look. After all, she had previously dated Ron and knew how he could be.

"It wasn't anything like how Harry was harassing Ginny," Pansy started to explain. "He just stopped by my office earlier this afternoon wanting to talk. He brought lunch." She shrugged, already knowing how her friends were going to react.

"Out of the blue?" Hermione questioned, a frown taking over her face. "That seems odd."

"Yeah, normally he sends an owl," Pansy told her friends. "I've ignored them all but this I couldn't ignore."

"Sounds just like Ron," Ginny piped up. She was getting huffy and drinking deeply now. "He wasn't giving you a chance to say no this time. He probably knew you wouldn't send him away."

Hermione looked between Ginny's irritated face and Pansy's guilty one. "So you had lunch with him in your office?"

"Yeah," Pansy muttered, picking up her drink and taking a few sips to calm her nerves. She didn't know why but she was feeling really guilty for having lunch with Ron now. "I didn't think it would hurt anything and it helped to hear what he had to say, you know? We never really had any closure."

Before Ginny could blurt out something hurtful rather than helpful, Hermione said, "No, I understand that completely. Draco and I had a few... _discussions_...prior to going back to working cases together. The, uh, closure, helps ease things along. As long as you don't make it into a habit, a small conversation with Ron can't hurt here and there."

"That's what I thought too." It felt good to have Hermione on her side. She was anxious that lunch with Ron would be a huge setback. Maybe it would work out, and he wouldn't come calling again, aside from earlier this evening... "He did seem to be in better spirits afterwards anyway. I've been avoiding his letters for weeks, so this probably was closure enough for both of us." She hated lying to her friends...and herself.

"I can see your point, Hermione," Ginny spoke up. "However, what if he shows up at her townhouse next? Brings dinner and some wine? That won't be so easy to turn down. Ron can be quite charming in a wounded puppy sort of way, and we all know it."

Hermione smirked and crossed her arms over her chest. "I thought of that, and that's why Pansy needs reminding of our new rules." Holding up a finger she said, "One: Don't pick up the phone and Two: Don't let him in."

Ginny thrust her fist into the air and cheered. "That's right! Don't let him in! If he comes knocking, send that brother of mine walking." Then she dissolved into peals of laughter and practically fell against Hermione on their side of the booth.

Hermione laughed right along with her and then added, "Yeah, if you let him in, you'll have to kick him out again, and we all know you don't want to do that."

Despite the three or four drinks she'd consumed, Pansy was feeling rather sober from the conversation. Nodding, she accepted her friends' warnings. They'd created their rules for a reason, and this was one of them. Ron had screwed up, and he just had to understand that they were over, even if it hurt her heart to admit that. Downing the remnants of her martini, she pushed the uncertainty aside and then smiled at her friends.

"No, I definitely don't want to go through all that again."

"Great!" cheered Ginny, reaching forward and patting Pansy on her hand. "Now that we have that settled let's get another round before heading home for the night. I have training in the afternoon and should probably get a workout in prior to practice." She grimaced, already anticipating the hefty hangover she was bound to have after all the drinking they'd done tonight. However, before either of her friends could answer, they were interrupted by an old friend.

"Ginny?"

"Who's asking?" the witch snapped, whipping around so hard her long hair smacked Hermione across the face. As she saw who was standing next to their table, her brown eyes went wide, and a grin found its way onto her lips. "Dean!?"

"The one and the same," the dark-skinned wizard replied, gesturing to himself. "How the hell are you? It's been ages."

"Since Hogwarts!" Ginny squealed as she extracted herself from their booth to give him a brief hug. "And I'm doing well. What brings you here?"

"I was just meeting Seamus, Blaise, and Theo for drinks and I saw you ladies sitting over here," he explained, gesturing over his shoulder with his thumb to the bar. "Thought I'd come over and say hello."

Ginny, Hermione, and Pansy followed his direction and, sure enough, the other three wizards were seated at the bar drinking deeply and laughing at something one of them said. The four wizards worked together in the Department for Magical Games and Sports and would often be found hanging out during their free time. Seamus and Blaise were rumored to be more than friends, but they hadn't quite come out yet. As for Dean and Theo… They were single and some of the most sought-after bachelors in the Wizarding community.

"Oh," Ginny said with a smile as she smoothed out her green dress. "Hello, then." She added a saucy wink and Pansy was quickly reminded of the conversation prior to Hermione's arrival.

Hermione and Pansy met each other's eyes and grinned. Ginny was an aggressive sort of flirt. Silently, the two witches decided to help their friend out. Hermione tipped her head in inquiry, and Pansy nodded. One of them would have to take one for the team, and right now, Pansy had her own issues with Ron to figure out. She was glad Hermione understood she needed this.

"Dean," Hermione said as she looped her arm through Ginny's. "Are you going to ask us to join you or is that not what you came over here to do?" The brunette witch quirked an eyebrow and gave the wizard her most charming smile. Pansy bit back a laugh. Ms. Golden Girl was clearly spending far too much time with her.

Dean laughed, his head thrown back. When he was able to get his composure, he said, "You caught me. I did come over to ask if I could buy you a drink, Gin', but you two ladies are more than welcome to join us too." He gave them all an honest smile which clearly worked on both Hermione and Ginny.

Pansy sighed and slid from the booth finally. "I can't answer for my friends here, but I've had enough tonight. I'm going to get home as I have an early appointment tomorrow, but feel free to stay and have some fun, ladies."

"Are you sure?" Hermione asked, always wanting to make sure her friends were okay. "We can come with you."

"No, no. I'll be fine." Pansy held up her hands. "I have a lot to think about, and I do have that dress fitting tomorrow I have to handle."

"If you're sure," Ginny added and came over to give her a swift hug. "Forget my brother," she whispered in her ear. "Go home and get some sleep. We'll call you tomorrow and maybe get some lunch after you're done with that fitting."

"Sounds great," Pansy said and released her friend. "See you loves tomorrow!" After a quick hug for Hermione, she waved goodbye to Dean and the other wizards at the bar before heading for the exit.

When she arrived home, Pansy stood in the middle of her kitchen and realized that it really did suck to be alone. She could easily have returned to the pub and stayed out late with Ginny and Hermione, but she did have that consultation tomorrow. With a heavy sigh, she turned out the lights and headed upstairs to bed. What was one more night sleeping alone?

* * *

 

Despite having slept a few hours, and the hangover potion she consumed upon waking, Pansy felt anything but rested. Her sleep was riddled with dreams of Ron and what could have been. It didn't help that after lying there for over an hour without any hope of falling asleep, Pansy had found herself imagining all the ways Ron used to please her. She'd finally fallen asleep after coming apart to images in her head that it was Ron between her legs and not her own fingers instead. She woke up with a raging headache and feeling guilty all over again.

Now, she had to try and perk up for her morning consultation. Some Pureblood witch was getting married and wanted to come in to see if Pansy could design her the perfect dress for her special day. Hooray. What Pansy found curious about the entire situation was that the client wanted to remain anonymous. They must be someone truly famous within their community, or they were marrying one of the more well-known Pureblood wizards. As far as Pansy had heard, Draco, Theo, and Blaise were still free and single, but you never knew.

Glancing around her private showing room, Pansy smirked with satisfaction. The room was filled with lush, white couches and a few adjoining tables. Between the two main couches was a table where she would sketch out the bride-to-be's dream gown. She'd placed a myriad of her best dresses around the room on mannequins, as well as a few racks with her secondary dresses to be perused. And with the tea and biscotti that her assistant had brought in moments before, everything was ready and waiting for her new client to arrive. Pansy certainly knew how to do business, even with her heart in shambles.

At five to ten, there was a knock on the door, and her assistant popped her head inside to let her know the client had arrived. Smoothing out her form-fitting work robes, Pansy told her to bring the client inside and then moved to strategically stand by the newest in her line of wedding gowns. She hoped it would pique the client's eye and they could model her personalized dress after it, thus making the profit higher. Pansy didn't play around when it came to the Pureblood families. They had money, and they would pay for the best.

When the door reopened and in walked her client, Pansy found herself more than confused. She certainly had no idea that Astoria Greengrass was engaged, let alone even off the market. Feigning a smile, she stepped forward and offered her hand. "Astoria! It's lovely to see you. I hadn't heard you were engaged to be married. How exciting!"

Astoria giggled and then grasped Pansy's hand. "It's all been rather hush, hush to be honest. It's great to see you too. It's been far too long since you, my sister, Millie, and I have had tea together." Glancing around as she dropped Pansy's hand, she added, "Your store is breathtaking. Look at all these beautiful gowns. I'm going to have a horribly difficult time deciding what I want." She stepped forward and smoothed her hand over the fancy gown Pansy was standing by, just as planned.

"That's what I'm here to help you with," Pansy replied with a genuine smile despite being completely at a loss as to who Astoria could be marrying. "Come sit down and have a cup of tea so we can discuss what exactly you had in mind before we have you try anything on."

"That sounds lovely, Pansy," Astoria replied and followed her friend to the sitting area.

They settled in with their tea and a piece of biscotti each before Pansy spoke up again. "Okay, now I know you want everything kept very private regarding this consultation, and you have my word that not a soul will know anything that we discuss in this room. However, I need to ask you some questions so we can design your perfect gown, okay?"

"Absolutely!" Astoria replied. "That's why I've come to you. I know I can trust you with all of this, especially given who you're friends with."

Pansy frowned but quickly hid the look by reaching forward to grab her notebook and quill. Plastering a fake smile upon her lips, she met Astoria's eyes and said, "Perfect. Now, tell me when is the wedding going to take place?" Best to ignore the comment about her friends. She knew the stuck up princess meant Ginny and Hermione and she hated having to defend her friendship to the Gryffindor women to her Slytherin friends all the time.

"It's going to be quick," Astoria began to explain. "In just over a month's time. An early summer wedding. Oh! And it will be outside. The gardens at the Manor are ever so lovely that time of the year."

"The Manor?" Pansy wrote everything down but couldn't help but blink at Astoria in confusion. She couldn't possibly be talking about-

"Malfoy Manor, silly." Astoria beamed and clutched her hands together as a dopey look appeared upon her face. "I can't wait to marry Draco… He's the love of my life."

As Astoria continued to ramble on about Draco and love and all that utter bullshit, Pansy just sat there in complete shock. Since when did Draco date Astoria? How long had they been seeing each other and did Hermione know? Probably not considering how quickly this wedding was being planned. Maybe Astoria was pregnant, and they had to get married, so the baby wasn't born out of wedlock? Who knew… No matter what, this was going to wreck Hermione, even if she claimed to be over Draco. Today really was turning out to be a shit day indeed.

Coming back out of her own mind, Pansy prompted Astoria to browse the room and see what she liked. Then, they could try on the dresses and figure out her perfect gown. This was going to be a nightmare, and she couldn't even tell Hermione without risking her job. There was a disclaimer in the contract Astoria signed stating that Pansy had to keep everything private or lose her company. It was how she managed to snag so many of the Pureblood clients. They paid for privacy. Hermione would hopefully forgive her once this came out, but she knew she would always hate herself for having to keep this from her friend.

* * *

 

That night, Pansy sat in her living room watching some trash television show and trying to sketch out Astoria's dress. She'd promised to have it ready for her in two days' time, so she needed to work quickly. Only, her heart wasn't in it like it usually was. Because of the conflict of interest, Pansy had canceled lunch with her friends and stayed locked in her office instead. Then, she'd come home and taken a long bath with a bottle of her favorite merlot. Now, here she was miserably designing the most beautiful gown for someone's happiest day.

What a nightmare.

The only thing that could make this day worse was Ron showing up and-

There was a knock at the door, and Pansy groaned. She knew who it would be having told Ginny and Hermione that she wasn't feeling well and was having an early night. Setting aside her sketchbook, Pansy uncurled herself from the couch and cautiously made her way to the door. Standing there staring at the offensive thing, she swallowed and tried to ignore the flurry of nerves that suddenly were attacking her. She had a decision to make, and quick.

Flinching as another knock sounded on the door, Pansy decided she might as well find out who was on the other side. "Who's there?" she called out, pretending like she was some fragile witch who was afraid to open the door this late at night. She rolled her eyes at the idiocy of it.

"It's Ron. I wanted to come and talk," came the voice of her ex.

Pansy's heart thumped wildly in her chest, and she placed a hand over it, hoping that would still it. It didn't work. "It's late," she called out instead.

"I brought cheese and wine from that store you always used to take me to," he pleaded, sounding almost desperate.

"Damn it," Pansy muttered, running a hand through her short, dark hair and glaring at the door. The girls were right; Ron was going to keep coming to see her unless she put her foot down for good. Swallowing, she recalled rule number two… Don't Let Him In. What was she to do?

"Pansy?" Ron's voice called out again. "Are you still there?"

Deciding this needed to be handled once and for all, Pansy took a deep breath and-

**Author's Note:**

> I've added the tag Mildly Dubious Consent because a comment has brought to my attention that what I allude to between Ginny and Harry's phone conversations could be misconstrued as "rape" because of how he treats her once he gets what he wants. This was not my intention. I am simply trying to write a funny crack fic full of male bashing and girl power moments. Sorry to anyone who may have been triggered.


End file.
